Kristen’s Mystery Song Reviews

I don’t like mysteries. I don’t. I don’t read them. I don’t like watching mystery movies (don’t watch them with me because I will just ask you questions the whole time). I didn’t read Nancy Drew as a youngin’, and I don’t like not knowing what I’m listening to. Granted, I don’t mind indulging in a game of Clue, but that’s totally different.

Okay, so Steve sent me some songs to listen to. Here goes:

1. Mystery Song 1 – (!!! – “Must Be The Moon”) The intro is a bit of an LSD induced thing that I don’t dig. Then it goes high-hat crazy like some dance-infused version out of “Slow Ride.” The singer is talk-singing. Unsuccessfully. The lyrics, from what I can gather, are lacking. The ending gets super electro-dancey and I can’t deal with this. Ugh. Next.

2. Mystery Song 2 – (Broken Social Scene – “Ungrateful Little Father”) This one starts off with some sitar and drums that don’t sound too bad. Then the singing starts, and that’s where they lose me. There’s a bit of a lazy vocal aspect to the singing. In the middle of the song, there’s a dub over it with someone talking with I find to be crazy annoying. This song sucks.

3. Mystery Song 3 – (Cinematic Sunrise – “Goodbye Friendship, Hello Heartache”) Ew. It’s eerily reminiscent of Dashboard Confessional, but I’m vaguely sure it isn’t. It’s so whiny that I can’t understand what he’s crying about. Not liking this one. Not even the brooding, Emo 8th grader in me is liking this.

4. Mystery Song 4 – (Envy On The Coast – “Temper Temper”) Onto Emo-sort-of-scream-core. The palm mute throughout the beginning is pissing me off. It doesn’t get better as the song goes on, either. The repetition of like one word throughout each verse is also pissing me off. Never never blah blah never never…Never never listening to this again.

5. Mystery Song 5 – (Four Year Strong – “Paul Revere’s Midnight Ride”) Woo distortion. Wait, Screamo, nevermind. It’s so heavily and poorly distorted that I can’t hear what the singer is sobbing about. Though, I think that’s a plus. It gets pretty heavy, which is more than I can say for the other songs. One of the many flaws with this one is that it gets heavy then goes super-emo limp.

6. Mystery Song 6 – (Ace Enders and a Million Different People – “The Only Thing I Have (The Sign)”) More high-pitched males sobbing about something. TAKE A XANAX. The instruments are so basic and Pop-emo (I’m going to doubt this is a real genre, but that’s what I’m calling this mess).

7. Mystery Song 7 – (Junior Senior – “Hip Hop A Lula”) Electro-talk-sing-pop? Sounds like two men who can’t write lyrics trying to talk-sing at each other over some weird ’80s-ish beat. Woah, there’s a dance-break in the middle. This is a bit too weird for me.

8. Mystery Song 8 – (Mando Diao – “Long Before Rock’n’Roll”) This one sounded a bit fun until I felt like it was a duet I was intruding on. This one is more distorted, sounds a bit like the vibe the Strokes were working with — like it’s supposed to be vintage. Meh. It’s better than the others on this list so far, but I’m still not crazy about it.

9. Mystery Song 9: (Reverie Sound Revue – “We Are The Opposite Of Thieves”) Why is the singer softly whispering to me? Speak up, dude. The drum-machine isn’t doing it for me either. The whole song is too soft. G’night, guys.

10. Mystery Song 10: (The Dangerous Summer – “Surfaced”) Ending this with some more Emo. I don’t hate this one so much, but it sounds pretty generic to me. It’s not the special little gem I was hoping it would become. It sticks to the same Screamo-generic Rock formula, and I’m disappointed because for some reason I thought this one would be better.

Afterward: Fin.

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One Response to “Kristen’s Mystery Song Reviews”

  1. The worst part is Steve didn’t even send you these because they were bad, it was because he loves them.

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