On Awards Shows

So in lieu of a regular review tonight, I’m going to bitch about awards shows. All they do is glorify the sad state of popular music today. With “artists” like Lady Gaga and Rihanna, how can we take these awards seriously? Lady Gaga sounds like a horse trying to copulate with a badger. Hell, she looks like the bastard child from that, too. In her latest single, Rihanna claims to be ‘so hard’ in her latest single; the only thing ‘hard’ about her was the beatdown she received from Chris Brown. (Note: I don’t advocate domestic abuse, it’s just that the joke fits).

So tonight was the Grammys, and hearing about them going on really was the inspiration for this post. If you’ve come here looking for who won, you’re in the wrong place. Watching an awards show like this is not something I’d subject myself to. I don’t get why they can’t give awards to artists like Apples in Stereo, A.C. Newman, and others who play their music with instruments, and who don’t need multiple layers of digitization to be in key.

I’m sure someone will say something to the tune of “But awards shows are good. They reward performance artists for making their music.” I don’t give a shit. I could create music and write lyrics and record a whole song in under an hour on my computer, but that doesn’t mean it’s good. By the same token, I could spend weeks writing material, and it could still sound like shit. Look at Dragonforce for example. I don’t think you understand me here… fuck Dragonforce.

The only person who should get an award at these shows is Taylor Swift, because she’s hot. Actually, she should only get an award if she poses nude for a medium that I can access for free. Is that so much to ask? But I digress, the bottom line here is that I do not like award shows. This in turn, eliminates any need for them. The fact that they have such a huge following is ridiculous. For example, on Twitter, there are these things called “trending topics”, things that are the most used phrases by users. Right now, the top ten are all about the Grammys. Although, one is Quentin Tarantino, and he is cool. I’ll close with something that proves my point, and was posted on Twitter by Guns n Roses’ legendary guitarist Slash: “Les Paul. 93 years on planet earth, most of it dedicated to music & all he gets is a 2 minute tribute.” That says it all about the state of popular music.

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